Outspoken Notion

And i look like i am self-contained. And the truth is... i am not. Hating myself really. Should i?  So should i give up? Let it flow. Let it flow. Tapi kalo jatuhnya ke got gimana? Ha? Ya Allah i really don't know what should i do It really tortured me. Please give me an explanation what's my fault so all the things like this happened to me? Will... my life be like this... along the times?

After waking up from sleep every afternoon... Emptiness and sadness are felt... I don't know why... But feeling like... 'Please I don't want to get older' 'Please time, don't fly so damn fast!' 'Please can I back to my childhood and I'm forever on there? Being a child.. being a person that doesn't know if  this world and the substantial are cruel and full of bullshit? Being a child that always is kept?' Always come... I don't want to get older... back to my childhood.. always being a child... Can I?