Okay, as usual, I spend the New Year's Eve in the house, never be with my friends. Ever... Ever... So... 2020 is waiting to end. Just less than two hours it's end and 2021 will begin. New decade almost come! 2020 is quite a passive year for me. Okay, I know I have said it and now I said it again. But yeah, It's it. It's such quite saddening that mostly I spend this year with only admiring people, just be a watcher, not really try to create my own wonderful life. Which is yeah totally hard. I, I, I, really really hope in 2021 and at new decade I could be a main role in my own life, I could have ambition to live my life. I really need that ambition, I want to be the one who knows what she really wants in life and try to embody it. It's really hard to figure out what I really want in life, what I want to be after failings is like realizing me that what I wanted was such a daydreaming and such irrational. I don't know.. since that happened it has made me afraid to...